When Patience Pays Off: Feral Cats Finally Falling For Their Owners

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Nov 1, 2021 11:00 AM EDT

We all kind of want our cats to end up being the super cuddly ones when we adopt them, let's be real. The dream of having a cat does not always match the reality of it. Yes, you will have moments when your cats are super affectionate with you, but… that's not the case with all cats. Some cats are more aloof than others. Some cats' affection is harder to earn. Some cats just show love in funny ways. 

It can take some patience with some cats. It might take a few weeks until they get used to you enough to be vulnerable and affectionate, and it might take years. Eventually, with enough love and space and care, even the most shy cat will fall for its human. But when the time comes, when your patience finally pays off, nothing will feel better. 

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  • 01
    Font - Ann Tipps I have a cat, now 18 1/2 years old, who was born in 2003 on my house roof to a neighbor's cat. All of the other kittens grew up and left the roof except for this one. We put food and water up there for 6 months and when the weather got cold, we finally got her down with a Hav-a- hart raccoon trap. She was feral but made friends with our other house cats. She would not let me touch her at all. After about 15 years of this, and all the others cats had passed away, we went on a per
    via Ann Tipps

    To have a whole fifteen years of patience is something else. We are so glad that you did not give up on her, and we are even more glad that she took to being loved as beautifully as she did. It's hard to imagine such a change in a cat fifteen years down the line, truly, but we are so happy to hear that this was the case here. 

  • 02
    Facial expression - Alison Acaster I already had two cats when a third (Lucy) moved into the apartment with us after her people moved out and left her (I know!) It took my sweet Lucy 9 years before she sat on my lap, the next 9 years she was the sweetest, cuddliest kitty ever. #patience
    via Alison Acaster

    #patience, yes. We agree. Patience is what you really need with cats for them to get close to you, and so few people seem to actually understand that. Granted, nine years is far longer than what most people would have to wait for, but the message stands. Patience is key. 

  • 03
    Font - Caitlin Williams My Willow seemed so aloof even seven years after we took her in but last year I lost my oldest cat to renal failure. Willow, finally seeing no competition began to rapidly bond with me. She let me pet her tummy and she wanted to be around me all the time. She has never been one to snuggle or cuddle but recently she has been coming to me when I'm in bed and will lay on my side or in the crook of my legs and just purrs softly until she falls asleep. She will do this with no
    via Caitlin Williams
  • 04
    Font - Jan Kenner I fed ferals daily. One day last winter a long haired black cat was obviously unwell. So sick, she let me pick her up without protest. She has progressed to allow me to stroke her back at feeding time, at arm's length. It took eight months to get her to use the litter box. We are progressing a law's length at a time. Like · Reply Message 13h
    via Jan Kenner
  • 05
    Font - Shirley Shackelford Hudson I bought a building to set up my workshop in. Next to it is a trailer park. Five trailers are right adjacent my shop, three of them occupied by elderly ladies, one of which, (Mrs. Sharp), was feeding feral cats out by her porch. One of the cats, a Tortise-shell Calico named Mittens, was half grown and already pregnant. Mrs. Sharp was very nice and we had many cat conversations. She continued feeding the cats for a couple years, but took sick and moved to a nursi
    via Shirley Shackelford Hudson
  • 06
    Font - Mittens was among them. After being spayed, her personality softened. Soon, I found that while she was distracted eating, I could gently rub my hand down her back. If she saw me doing it, she'd still try to claw me, but after a while she began to enjoy it and finally, after more than 15 years, I actually petted her. That winter, she showed interest in coming onto my shop. Before, she had lived strictly under the trailers, refusing to enter any house. She started coming in on cold nights a
    via Shirley Shackelford Hudson
  • 07
    Font - Top Fan Mika Lynn I have two former feral cats that turned into love bugs. This is them waiting for me to come back from the bathroom in the middle of the night. 10 Like · Reply · Message 14h Edited
    via Mika Lynn
  • 08
    Cat - Amanda Bettison My beautiful Noelle, rescued feral kitten (we met on Xmas eve), who still doesn't let me touch her, but we communicate in other ways. Love her lots OD 7 Like · Reply Message 14h
    via Amanda Bettison
  • 09
    Carnivore - Laurie Oreskovich Plummer My formerly feral kitty living his best life Like · Reply Message 16h
    via Laurie Oreskovich Plummer
  • 10
    Food - Lane Taylor I know the feeling. We fostered a feral last year. After a few months, she was a lovable lap cat. She is doing great in her furrever home. 9 6. Like · Reply · Message 16h
    via Lane Taylor
  • 11
    Font - Melissa Criswell My 8 year old sweetie Violet has been shy since I got her as a kitten. She is still startled by everything but continues to show improvement. She will let me pet her tummy and will lay by me as long as I stay perfectly still, don't make unexpected noises, and keep a steady breathing pattern! e 2 Like · Reply Message 8h
    via Melissa Criswell
  • 12
    Vertebrate - Jerry Skrzynski I adopted a 14 year old cat that took two months to stay in the same room with me, and about three months after that to let me touch her. Now (after a year) she crawls up on my lap at least once a day. Like · Reply Message 9h
    via Jerry Skrzynski

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